Gracie is 15 months!

I should probably blog more cause Gracie is a sponge and is growing faster than you can imagine. She recently turned 15 months and the doctor was still blown away at how fast she is developing. Gracie sat by herself at four months, crawled at five months, and started walking at nine months. She currently says aunt Mia's name, quacks like a duck, sings ashes ashes (ring around the Rosie's), points and yells "that that" for something she needs, and she can now climb up on just about anything so we are currently transitioning into a toddler bed for safety. She is still a tiny monkey and wears 6-12 or 9-12 month clothes. Which is great for me because things fit her for forever. She has this almost white blonde hair and this natural tan skin that everyone always comments on. She is the sweetest little girl we know and is always willing to give kisses. The first thing she does when she sees a baby or kid is she runs up to them hugs and gives a kiss. Most kids are scared by it but really it's adorable.

We also have lots of big things coming up in our family! My brother leaves on his mission to Thailand Wednesday! I lived in Thailand for about six months just before we got married so chase and I are planning to go back when he is ready to come home. We are beyond excited! We also are so excited because chase has accepted his formal offer to work at the largest accounting firm in utah! We thought the recruiting process would be more grueling but chase didn't even need an interview. They met him at three events and told him they wanted him immediately. His 4.0 and handsomeness  I'm sure had a lot to do with it. ;) the firm is located in downtown salt lake and so we will be looking for a home in Davis county after graduation.

I must say we are busy as can be but our lives are moving in the direction we've always wanted. We feel so blessed to have received this job offer right where we want to live by grandparents and family. Stayed tuned for more surprises in the next few weeks!

Lets be clear

Anyone else feel like you read a billion blogs saying how hard being a mother is? Describing all the endless woes that you will face? I literally read them and think "crap I don't wanna be a mom, oh wait " then I think about all the first time moms that are reading the same blog passage and think "well they probably just cried themselves to sleep". But here is the truth... You won't feel all those things. I didn't. When Gracie came into the world I was so happy and still am. Don't think, or even assume, that your going to have the worst experience or the best experience. You might cry, a lot or have hormones that drive you into the ground but at the end of the day you'll be okay. And heck you might even smile. The fact is the love you feel for a new child will be rembered when your tired eyes are shut before you hit the pillow. My main point here is that it's easy to get caught up in motherhood is a slap in the face but it's not. You have agency to choose things within your control. Sometimes I choose to shower sometimes I don't, sometimes I eat a donut instead of running but these are my choices. And of course there are the things you can't control like how many times your babies poop goes up their back or how long they sleep but these things won't ruin your life forever. In fact I can't count how many times chase has been telling me an awful poop story but smiling from ear to ear cause it was so gross.

I also want to make one thing clear- no situation is the same and some people have special situations that it's butt dang hard. And The Lord obviuosly knows how strong they are but those people usually have the best attitude on motherhood. So instead of telling me the obvious things that's hard about motherhood tell me the beautiful things of motherhood. That your kid said I love you for the first time or went potty by themselves. Because those things give people hope. Because those things make first time moms happy. And those things will keep you going for days to come.

What I need you to know

We have spent most  of our summer in Tennessee, which has been  a growing experience for us. Chase and I are still like newlywed sometimes, I hate being apart all day because Gracie is growing and doing these cute things that are so much like him, so I find myself talking about him all day to her. Lately I've been thinking about all the things I want her to remember about me when she talks about me in her old age. I'm sure she'll say I talked to much and bought way to many clothes but I want her to have memories that she can read and really know how much we adore her.

We have made it to the mile mark of one year old recently. While it's so unbelievable it's so great. It's seriously amazing the emotional release it has on me, as her mother. She walks now so I'm not constantly carting her around , she drinks vitamin D milk now so giving her a drink isn't a year long process, and she is getting this personality  that is contagious. She is the best little human I know. She loves babies and we keep getting hints it's a sign she needs a sibling... Which I kindly respond with "if you would like to arrange that, be my guest"! (Which probably isn't that kind)

But  with all of this aging from all of us I keep thinking about what I need Gracie to know. Is this normal? I just ponder and ponder about how I'm going to teach her about life and what the right choices are. Like  you don't need boys until after college and  always, no matter the circumstance love people. Not that fake love your BFF in high school showed you and then shortly after said she hates your shirt to your other BFF but unconditional Christ like love. The kind of love and kindness that shines in darkness and when someone tries to break it, it's left unbroken. I want her to be modest and confident. Healthy and strong. But number one of all number ones- love the savior. There is no other love more important than our love for the savior. I hope she has confidence to share her love of the savior with everyone. Because chase and I do. We would be no where without the gospel of Jesus Christ, that is The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Dat Saints. We love our savior and when we realize we have just about no money we realize we have hope in our future, we have pure true love to guide us to help make right decisions.

At the end of our days we strive to be thankful. Thankful for our home, family, faith, and love.

Love ,

The cuthbertsons

A New Year

It's a new year, 2014 we are happy you're here. Gracie is six and a half months and the most adorable thing I have ever seen. I know, I know your kid is the most adorable thing you've ever seen. She is now getting into the crawling position like a champ but once there it's all deer in the head lights staring at me, like "what now mom?" I'll be honest, I'm not ready for all the responsibility that a "crawler" holds. Number 1. I am taking 16 credit hours in school 2. Our apartment is far from baby proof, like it has baby hazard every where you turn 3. Crawling means she needs me a little less and I'm not ready for that. Every living person that has kids will say to you "Enjoy it, they grow way to fast" and as a new, tired mom you smile and think "If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that, I would literally be rich" But here is the deal, as annoying as they are, they are a million trillion fafillion percent right. I never thought I'd see the day I'd but Gracie in the sitting up position and she would be sitting there, by herself. I never thought that I would see her gleam with joy because she realizes I walked out of the room for 30 seconds but returned with a big smile on my face.

I also never realized how different (hard) having a baby would make my life. No class, no person, no nothing can tell you how your life will be with a baby. There are no more "fast" grocery shopping trips; correction fast is no longer in your vocabulary. I can not count how many times we are late for school and we are putting Gracie in her carseat and just like that the smell hits you. Then just like that you are cleaning poop off everything. You are changing her clothes (sometimes your own clothes) and praying it doesn't happen before you have to leave again. Suddenly your friends that don't have babies are people you see at wrestling duals and people that do have babies... Well you never see them because they are also cleaning poop up and never leaving their house cause it's to dang hard.

But I also didn't realize how beautiful and wonderful being a mother would be. You see this beautiful, poopie, miraculous baby sitting on the floor in front of you. She has your eyes and your husbands smile. She knows exactly who you are and what you mean to her. When she cries she cries for you, when she smiles she smiles for you. My day is dramatic and happy; it's like one of those awful depressing, yet happy love movies that everyone pretends like they hate but watches twice a week when no one is home. My life is one of those movies and I love it. I truly love it. I hope that  I get to watch this movie over and over and over again for the rest of my life.

Why wouldn't you be a mamma?

I usually just post about our cute family but recently I read an article about "Childless Marriages, By Choice". As I read/listened to couples talk about why they choose not to be parents I started thinking of all the parents who want to be parents but can't and myself as a new mommy. A lot of the people were talking about how they want to come home and focus on themselves or not have to be "put together" for their children. Or they don't get a long well with other peoples children and don't know how they could possible get along with their own children. Then I thought about the moment they placed Gracie in my arms for the very first time and the tears started. I can't describe the feeling of looking down at YOUR baby, they have you eyes, your husbands nose and you instantly know they are yours. They need you and it's the most rewarding feeling you can possibly feel. As I sat and read those people's reasons I couldn't help but think if you could just have the feeling of your child in your arms for the first time you would have 12! (or at least one) Then my mind started drifting to the things I've learned since being a new mommy and I got it down to the top ten most important:

1. You're the mom: No matter how many times some stranger tells you how to parent they will never be the parent of your child. You know your child's specific needs, follow your mommy gut.

2. Let your husband do some work, even if it isn't how you would do it: I found myself getting impatient with Chase because he would do things so slow and not the way I would do it. Then one day I woke up  to a squirt of poop and realized how exhausted I was. I was never more grateful for Chases willingness to change that diaper and have never been more grateful for every diaper he has changed after that.

3. Your Marriage should be your top priority still: this is a hard one. Your baby is going to suck the life out of you, literally. But when it comes down to it that marriage and spouse gave you that beautiful gift.

4. Be grateful: Heavenly Father gave you a beautiful gift that not everyone gets the opportunity to experience that love you are feeling towards your blessing(s) so just simply be grateful.

5. Learn to get ready in under 30 minutes (shower included): I had to cut my hair to something that looked cute if I didn't do it everyday because you WILL NOT have time to get ready every day. I promise.

6. Love your new mommy body: this is probably the hardest one. I had hoped I would walk out of the hospital a size zero again, safe to say that didn't happen. As much as I would like to have my body back exactly like it was before I wouldn't trade  being a mother for that.

7. Get Ready: (in under 30 minutes haha) maybe not like you did before but every day try to put some makeup on and at least comb your hair. You will feel better, more alive, and more like yourself after having a baby.

8. Bring two diapers: When you go to change your baby don't just bring the new diaper, bring an extra. I cannot tell you how many times we put the clean diaper under her and she poops/pees all over it. You don't want to leave that hanging out while you run to grab a diaper.

9.Spend time alone: Go walk around target or go for a run. As much of a blessing that it is to be a mother you need some "you" time so you don't go crazy. It's also a good chance for daddy to bond with the baby.

10. You will never do anything more worth while: The first time Gracie smiled at me, I melted. She is mine and I am hers.

A Gracie Story

Well Gracie is here! She was born on July 3, 2013 and we are more in love than I ever thought possible! She is so fun and growing so fast, in fact she is 4 weeks old today! She has got some chubby cheeks! I am so thankful for her sweet spirit and the way she has blessed our lives. I cant describe the feeling of what it's like to be a mother but it's the best, most rewarding, most spiritual calling I have ever had. Secretly I love when she is crying and then she comes to me, she snuggles up and stops crying :) She is becoming so smart! She knows if she lets out a little cry someone will run to her and pick her up. Gracie is one spoiled girl! Time is flying by oh so fast and we are just trying to enjoy ever minute of it!

She weighed 6lbs and 14 ounces

This is her cute outfit to come home in!

right when we got home grandpa wanted to take a nap with her

I thought I was suppose to be the tired one?

Gracie came out sucking on her hands and was kinda mad when we put the mits on! Not a time goes by she doesn't sleep with her hands on her face, it's the only way she can fall asleep!

big yawns for mamma

they really get nothing done these days. They keep telling us we won't really leave, I think my dad started tearing up yesterday at the thought of us moving in a few weeks!

she is getting so big! She looks skinny minny in this one!

This is the first time she smiled with her eyes open!

Waiting on a Gracie

Well we are in our last weeks of pregnancy :) I feel like the last few weeks have been months or even years! I guess you can call me impatient, but I just want to cuddle my little girl. I have been trying to keep myself busy since I am not working or going to school by making a quilt, painting Gracie a dresser and glider Paul and Karen gave us, cleaning my parents' house, and organizing and reorganizing Gracie's clothes. That only took me three days, so if any of you have projects, send them my way ;) We had an awesome time in TN with our family and glad I could keep busy with the kids those four weeks. Chase worked crazy hours and I got the fun part of being with my sister-in-laws and cute nieces and nephews. While in TN we had a bit of a scare and we were sent to labor and deliver to make sure sweet Gracie was okay. She is fine and still in my belly :) It was good to come home and feel the safety of my doctor not too far away. Chase and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary shortly after coming home! How wonderful it is to be married to my best friend! We found it only fitting to attend the temple that day and go to a nice dinner. Kneeling across that alter from him and remembering the feelings I had the year before was so spiritual and enlightening.

 Since then, Chase has found an awesome job at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, worked as a wrestling coach at a UVU Camp, and started back working out and wrestling for the summer. We also went to the hospital the other night for some strong contractions and Gracie wasn't moving enough!! Most of you know but our sweet stubborn little girl won't flip head down and her due date is in three weeks. So I knew I wasn't in labor but I was concerned about the lack of movement. Long story short we went home three hours later with a healthy/still sideways baby. My doctor said she can turn when she wants to but isn't sure she will by her due date so we are planning a c-section for June 29 (most likely). It's funny because since I was three months pregnant I told everyone that I think she will come June 29 for some reason. I have always had a strong impression about that day and it just so happens that is when my doctor is suggesting, coincidence? I think not!! :) Hopefully the days will speed by and Gracie will be in our arms before we know it!

Ready Set A TON of pictures:

I felt so big but compared to now that is nothing for 29 weeks!

waiting for a ride in TN

first day in TN

my little b-bug cruizin 

Took the kids to Servpro to eat with their daddy when mommy was gone :)

My two Artists 

I'd claim her as my own!

haha this is how James watches TV

Priceless Cake, made by yours truly, for Kellen's B-day!

my sweet Ivy

Ivy is out, James is watching my little pony. He might be confused why they are all pink?

33 weeks and the week of our scary hospital visit, Yikes!

happy anniversary to the best husband alive :)

our anniversary day :)

Chase is one lucky uncle with cute nieces like this!

back home and still preggers

we missed the 36 weeks picture and look how big my tummy got!

Us trying to put the worm in the grass, I had to convince Kellen not to run it over with his jeep haha